On television, it’s often difficult to see the dynamics at play in certain familial relationships, but in this week’s episode of Tardy for the Wedding, we were able to see, and verify, the type of drama-queen, narcissistic mother that Kim has been dealing with.
I like her parents and when we like someone, we often don’t “see” the truth, but when Kim’s mom played the “I’m going to be sick for you wedding” card because she wasn’t included in the Colin Cowie food tasting event, we got to see a whole ‘nother side of her, didn’t we?
If you haven’t read my post entitled “Narcissism Defined” it’s well worth the read. As a Real Housewives Armchair Psychologist (as most of us are), we are now able to identify Kim’s mom as yet another narcissist.
It is unfortunate that even in these early episodes of this particular family, we are able to see that her mother is a little “effed up” in the head, so-much-so that even Kroy’s parents are already scratching their heads about her in observing her behaviours. By that I mean “what kind of family are you marrying into?” kind of scratching their heads.
We got a glimpse of her mother’s narcissism last week when mom couldn’t take the time to meet with the stylist at Kim’s house to try on mother-of-the-bride dresses. The only assumption we can conclude is that her mother knew that the stylist would put her in more age-and mother-of-the-bride-appropriate clothing than she would have chosen for herself. Considering the clothing she was choosing for herself several episodes prior to that, which were all a bit too “young” for the mother, we can only draw that conclusion.
Now, in not being placed center-stage by Kim, she’s decided that she wants to create drama more appropriate to a 3-year-old…”boo hoo, if I can’t play with Colin Cowie and help you pick the food, then I’m not going to your stupid little wedding”.
We have all appreciated that Kroy embraced Kim’s girls with open, fatherly arms. He’s made quite the impression on us in that regard and has earned a high level of respect from us. Now, we all have to hand it to Kroy for very diplomatically calling Kim’s mother out on her behaviour. A man of few words, it was refreshing to see him quickly put her in her place by taking a logical approach and handling it calmly. Whether she “got it” remains to be seen, but he quickly came to Kim’s defense by pointing out that her mother’s text was inappropriate.
Kim was right when she pointed out to her mom that she’s a wife, a mother of three children, working full-time managing her career, helping with his career and planning a wedding and didn’t have time for mom’s drama, but their dynamic is such that mom couldn’t hear her.
(another classic narcissist trait is that they can only hear things as they relate to the narcissist…in other words, narcissists are unable to empathize)
Isn’t it, again, amazing that Kim and Kroy are in a position where they have to parent the parent? For some reason, narcissists just don’t see that their children get to live their own lives, make their own decisions and choose to what extent they want to include other family members.
A healthy mother would have texted: “The next time you don’t want mom included in an event, honey, just let me know. I’m sorry I’ve put you in a position where you felt you had to lie to me. I know that you have a lot on your plate right now, just know that I’m here to help if you need me. I love you. xoxo”
Sorry Kim’s had to go through this with her mom.