Sarah, The Duchess of York, Finally Unplugged

WARNING!  You are about to read a post where opinions are expressed very graphically & are for entertainment purposes only.  The opinions of the author and the comments that follow are not meant to defame or harm the reputations of the subjects of the post, but merely to entertain and are considered “Water Cooler Conversations”, opinions that people may or may not have expressed in the past.  These are opinions only and are not based upon fact.  Brace yourself.


Now, this is a really gross thought, but I don’t know how to better express this…

Have you ever had a really bad infection that was so painful it was throbbing and the pain only subsided after whatever it was that was infected popped and the pus was able to be expelled from your body?

Welcome to Sarah, The Duchess of York’s, life.

On last nights episode of “Finding Sarah. From Royalty to Reality” she had an “aha” moment that was so explosive she was finally able to see what the underlying issues were that were causing her life to be so messed up and that “aha” moment was like the infection that finally burst itself open.

This issue came to a head last May when, unbeknownst to her, she had been set up by a journalist and was caught trying to sell access to Prince Andrew for the princely sum of $500,000 pounds.  There were hidden cameras and hidden microphones so, when the piece hit the tabloids, she was completely exposed and it was one of the most butt ugly truths anyone could have, much less a Royal.  The embarrassment caused to the Royal family and Prince Andrew was enormous and the ordeal cost Sarah her life.  She had been on the way down for years but this was the final blow.

In the previous episode, (I don’t know if you were able to catch it) we were introduced to Sarah, her world, and the journey she had decided she must undertake to rebuild her life from the ground up.  In that episode we watch as Sarah meets with both Dr. Phil and Suze Orman.  Of course, Dr. Phil immediately noticed that Sarah was in complete denial of any responsibility of her own actions, nearly blaming the entire incident on a friend who needed the money.  What it really was, was that Sarah had some debts, which included this friend who really needed her to pay him back, and she was desperate.  It was her own desperation that caused her to hatch a scheme to sell access to Prince Andrew for a lot of money.

Now I am not saying that in a mean way.  I love Sarah and I am truly not trying to compare her to an infected, pus-filled, throbbing pain in the whatever.  I am trying to draw a picture of something majorly significant that occurred in last night’s episode of “Finding Sarah” during Sarah’s conversation with Dr. Phil.

Sarah had a difficult childhood.  She was abandoned by her mother who ran off with a Polo player to Argentina when Sarah was just 10 years old.  Her father, thinking perhaps Sarah was a boy, would tell her to toughen up whenever she cried about the loss of her mother, so Sarah would lie in bed at night sobbing away her pain of abandonment from both her mother, physically, and her father, emotionally.  If you were abandoned as a child, you know the pain of this experience and you know the wounds never, ever heal until this very big issue is addressed.

Most who are abandoned and, believe me, many were even though that abandonment might not have been physical and even though you may not have even been aware of it, go about their lives and try to get past it, and they do.  Sarah was one of those people.

In fact, Sarah is such a survivor that she sashayed her way right into the arms of a waiting Prince, but the flaws in her character began to show almost immediately and her downfall we all read about in the tabloids over the years.

You all know by now that being a Royal is stressful, particularly if you are a part of the Royal family.  It’s a bit like being a celebrity here in the United States.  Not an “A-list” celebrity, but a celebrity, nontheless.  All Royals risk being spotted doing something inappropriate but, if you’re raised a Royal, you’re a bit trained in appropriate behaviours and know what is expected of you at all times and in all of your relationships.

Everyone loves Royals and so being humble and gracious and demonstrating genuine caring and compassion for all people is what we get to do.   My father saw his full-time job as raising up Royals to be loving people and, much to his credit, my siblings and I are all a credit to his loyal and devoted training.  See my page “On Royal Fatherhood”, a tribute I wrote to my father for the job well-done.  What I learned and liked most about my father was the way he loved all the people who worked for him…how he treated each one of them.  Whenever he saw someone he knew or met anyone, he reached out and touched them, hugged them, and truly expressed his extreme happiness in getting to know them, personally. It’s what makes me love everyone I meet and, for that, I am forever grateful.  You should try it sometime.  Your life will change immeasurably!

And this, my friends, is what absolutely kills me about the “Queen of Mean”, “The Countess”, LuAnn de Lesseps.  She completely missed the training part.  She took on the Title, without assuming any of the responsibilities of the Title, which include graciousness and humility.  Bitch.

If you’re an outsider coming in to a Royal family, such as was the case with Sarah, you are prone to making little mistakes, yet, the tabloids don’t seem to cut these newbies any slack.  Sarah, the  “Fumpy Fergie”, would have known better than going out looking shlumpy and, Sarah, “The Duchess of Pork” had enough money to have a personal trainer and a chef to prepare lighter meals, she just didn’t know better.  (not that I’m saying that weight has everything to do with food intake)

I like Sarah because she’s very real and genuine.  What this show is allowing the audience to do is get a peek into the everyday life of a disgraced Royal and watch her pick herself up the way we will all have to do at some point in our lives.  No one is immune from this journey and we get to go on the journey with Sarah and, hopefully, learn along the way.  She has to re-invent her career, learn how to live with the consequences of her past actions and, yet, not look back, and she has to dust off her knees and resume living her life as if nothing happened.

So, here is the question that Dr. Phil asked her that caused the pus pocket to burst:

“Why did you have such a need for approval that you had to do this for your friend to the point that you would put yourself in jeopardy and deny your own gut-level instincts that ‘I am in trecherous area here’, but I am so needing to help this friend over here that I will jeopardize everything I stand for?”

Sarah’s “aha” moment? The need for approval.  An issue for all Royals and, frankly, all human beings.  We all want to be loved and accepted.  In Sarah’s case, she never thought anyone would genuinely love her for who she really was…which is amazing because she found a Prince who did.  She was just so insecure in who she was because of those early abandonment issues that she thought she just simply wasn’t love-able.

The need for approval is a big issue and Sarah, as a Royal, has to fulfill that need while staying in her own integrity.  It now becomes her job to find that integrity.  What is “her voice”.  What does “she want” to do with her life, yes, as a Royal but, more importantly as Sarah, the Lady, the Duchess of York, the woman, the mother, the being.  Once she ditches the need for outside “approval” she will finally be able to get it.

At the end of the day, when we all realize that we are who we are and we stop wearing our “social” masks, it’s absolutely astounding how much love is waiting for us out there.  You can be loved for exactly who you are.  You are amazing just as you are.

What’s not to love about you?  Nothing!

I know that in my little ordinary life here, and as a Royal, that meeting you would make my heart just melt with joy!  I also know that your heart will melt with love when you give Sarah the good look she deserves.  She is a compassionate, loving being, a talented writer and brave enough to take on her big journey with all the cameras rolling.  I especially enjoyed the opportunity the audience got to witness when Sarah was so gracious and warm in meeting people on the street.  She truly is a warm human.

  Your friend,